The Grim Reaper of Blogs

Death.

He comes to all us all in the end, scythe in hand, ready to help us shuffle off this mortal coil whether we want to or not.

What a dick.

For The Best Bit of the Internet, today heralds the day the Grim Reaper of Blogs reaches out with his mighty weapon (no laughing at the back, there. This is serious) and extinguishes all life from the poor, old blog.

Which is a rather noncy , puffed-up way of saying I'm no longer updating this site.

It was fun while it lasted, but now The Best Bit of the Internet has outlived its purpose. I'm far too busy writing The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely and my personal blog, Digital Sickbag to even care about this place any more.

I know, its sad.

Still, whilst The Best Bit of the Internet crumbles into ashes, something else will rise from them - Phoenix-like - and issue forth new life and new possibilities...

Which is a rather noncy, puffed-up way of saying I've got a new site in the works. Look at this:

Intrigued? No? WELL YOU BLOODY SHALL BE.

gaup hits the net very soon, like a sledgehammer of SODDING BRILLIANCE.

So forget this dive. Let's get out of here. I'll meet you somewhere else on the internet, at some other best place.

BYE!

- Fanton.

Still the Best

Hello! We're still here!

We haven't all fled to the Caribbean, or been swallowed by sharks or anything, in case you're wondering. We've just been busy, is all. Geez, give us a break already. No, YOU shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP.

That's it! We're going to mother's.

While we're at mother's, sobbing away and eating ice cream by the gallon, you might like to visit our other spectacular sites, where we've been as busy as ever:

The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely - the exhilarating, erotically-charged exploits of a Victorian aristocrat.

The Carrotty Kid - kung-fu carrot based cartoons.

Digital Sickbag - the virtual vomitings of some sickly sod.

i done a comic - foul-mouthed comic strip fun.

We shall return!

See you soon!

Best or Worst: Mugs.

BEST or WORST?

Welcome to yet another new column for The Best Bit of the Internet, where we will review products for YOU so you can decide whether or not to buy them, as our opinions are ALWAYS RIGHT and should be adhered to RIGIDLY.

Today, we take a look at MUGS.

We don't know about you, but we are fed up of pouring scalding hot drinks into our cupped hands, just to enjoy some tea or coffee. There has to be a better way to enjoy our favourite drinks, without winding up in the Emergency Ward?

Well, now there is - mugs. These drinking vessels purport to eliminate those burnt-hand blues by providing a receptacle in which hot beverages can be stored, ready to be drunk at your leisure. So, does the mug work, or are they making mugs of us all?


Design

The mug certainly looks nice, having been carefully crafted out of ceramic materials and rounded off with a lovely glazed finish. A sole handle sits on the side, lending the mug an economy of design that only adds to its charm. Unfussy, uncomplicated and unobtrusive, the mug will surely go down in history as a design classic, to be imitated for years to come.


Functionality

We found the mug to be extremely easy to use, as befits its simple design. You simply fill the mug up with a hot beverage of your choice, and then drink said beverage in your own time. Thanks to the thick walls of the mug, the drink retains its heat for an extended period of time, meaning it can be drunk as and when the drinker sees fit. However, we did find that the mug could be rather hot to the touch after filling it up with a boiling hot drink, and we were concerned that we might hurt our delicate hands.

"...a genius innovation".

That is where the handle comes in. Whereas previous versions of the mug have been distinctly handle-less, the makers of the mug have listened to consumer feedback and added a simple handle to the design of this latest model. It is a genius innovation, which allows users to pick up the mug with far greater ease and comfort, and without sustaining any injury. It is a masterstroke which we feel elevates the mug to 'must-have' status.


Durability

The mug is a rather fragile item, which will chip or shatter if treated roughly, or hurled angrily at a cheating spouse. However, if properly taken care of, the mug could last forever, providing you with a lifetime of drinking pleasure.


Conclusion

We cannot rate the mug highly enough. If you like hot drinks, then look no further - this is the perfect storage device. CHEERS!


Rating

BEST

- tested by Andy Fanton.

The Best Bits of the Internet that We Didn't Do 2

Hello and welcome again to The Best Bit of the Internet's 'The Best Bits of the Internet that We Didn't Do...2'! (APPLAUSE, CHEERING).

Right! Without further ado, here are some things we've found on the internet that we didn't do, but are still Quite Good nonetheless. Soooooo....

Pringle Bells

Some of our good chums are in a band, and as such they like to make music. One of the musics they made recently was a Christmas-themed jingle for everyone's favourite tube-based snack, Pringles, as part of a competition run by the crunchy crisp corporation. Below is the band's masterpiece, set to a lovely animated video involving snowmen. And crisps. Watch it, love it, and then why not vote for it on the Pringles site, so that they might win and maybe treat us to a delicious Pringle. Do it, or little baby Christ will cry for all infinity.

Crispy Christmas

Vote for this video at the Pringles Jingles site!

Snowfun

Yeah, we know, we know. We've run articles about this virtual snowman maker before, but the truth is we love it and we love its creator, the marvelous Mike Whaite. So we'll continue posting about it until EVERYONE on the ENTIRE INTERNET has visited it. Like these three folks, who've submitted their fine efforts here:

Dirty Snow by Beennzzz of Stealthy Bean. Filth. Utter FILTH. (Excellent, 5/5)




Snow Globes by Olga, The Traveling Bra. Nice snowy peaks, there.




Manny, by Jack Ferguson. A snow-alien-cowboy. No, we don't know either.

And Now the Huey Lewis and the News

Over at Mattress Police, the ever-excellent Diesel has decided to give his blog a profound meaning and purpose, by campaigning to get Huey Lewis and the News back on constant rotation on radio stations across the land. We here at The Best Bit of the Internet fully support this cause, and urge you to join this important crusade. Need more convincing? How about this, then?...



You know what to do.

Finally

Finally, a bit of the internet we DID do. The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely sees the titular aristocrat embark upon a BRAND-NEW adventure, entitled the Curious Case of the Conjuring Calamity. Of course, the fact we did it makes it entirely brilliant, plus this is the perfect jumping on point for those foolish imbeciles who have yet to sample his lordship's delights. Join the adventure, here!

That's it. We're spent. BYEEEE!

- Fanton.

The Best Bits of the Internet that We Didn't Do

Although we here at The Best Bit of the Internet are generally responsible for all the best stuff on the web, sometimes other people do things that are not too bad, and definitely worth a look. So, sit back, relax and pull down your pants as we share with you some of the best bits of the internet that we didn't do, in our new weekly column we call:

The Best Bits of the Internet that We Didn't Do

Daveula

This short film, made as part of a university project by some friends of ours, asks that age-old question: what would you do if you thought your mate was a vampire? We've all been there, right? Writer/director/star Tom Butler has done a sterling job on a budget of three pounds fifty-five, and produced a funny film for you to enjoy now:



Although we did not make this film, we heartily endorse it anyway. Not least because we did do a bit of writing on it, and generously donated our old flat for some of the location filming. We're nice like that. Hooray!

Filthy Snowmen

People of high virtue and unquestionable morals are often referred to as being "as pure as the driven snow." Well, now they'll have to rewrite that particular phrase, as snow just got a lot more filthy thanks to animation genius Mike Whaite. You may recall us pointing you all in the direction of his excellent virtual snowman maker earlier in the week, and now we present you with the XXXX hardcore, adult version! Go and make some slutty snowmen and snowwomen right now - like this pornographic pair right here:



Disgusting!

Laurel and Hardy As You've Never Heard Them Before!

The Peter Serafinowicz Show concluded its run on BBC2 this week, causing us to all moan and wail with displeasure, as it was pretty much the only show on TV we tuned into regularly. Still, it was great while it lasted, featuring some really genius comic moments, such as this rather...colourful tribute to Laurel and Hardy. Enjoy!



So there you go. There is some other good stuff out there, after all.

BYE!

- Andy Fanton.

The Best Fun: Build a Snowman Without Freezing Your Balls Off

So, it is November; the nights are getting darker, a chill fills the air and Winter's ice-cold hands will soon be upon us, like some kind of zombie bastard clawing at your face, trying to feast on your warm, squidgy brains.

But you know what else Winter brings, right? Yup - SNOW!

Snow is great fun. You can compact it into balls and hurl it at the heads of unsuspecting relatives, you can write your name in it or you can eat it in a desperate bid to stay alive when you find yourself trapped on a mountain, having already eaten your best friend who gave his life so that you might live. Ah, yes. Great times.

Another reason that snow is so fucking ace is that you can use it to make snowmen. Or snow-women. Or snow people-of-no-specific-gender, if you wish to be politically correct. You freak.

But what if you like to build snowmen, but don't like freezing your bits off in the ice-cold air? What if you are allergic to snow? What if snow terrifies you beyond all belief? What if snow killed your family? WHAT CAN YOU DO THEN?

Well, luckily help is at hand courtesy of the excellent Mr. Michael Whaite. Mike, as the more attentive among you might recall, is the frankly brilliant animator who worked with us on the pilot episode for our Carrotty Kid cartoon, which was bloody ace. And so is he.

Well, now Mike has come up with Snowfun, a brilliant way for you (yes, YOU) to build yourself a snowman online, without having to ever leave the warmth and comfort of your home, and without that annoyance of getting frostbite and DYING.

We here at The Best Bit of the Internet think Snowfun is cocking well fab. For example, we spent far too much time messing around with it earlier, to create these two lovely, snowy tributes to our very own Lord Likely, and his man-servant, Botter. BEHOLD:



Ah-hahaha! Boy, we are so funny.

If you think you're anywhere near as hilarious as we are, then...well, you're wrong, obviously. I mean look, we did a snowman pissing on another snowman! THAT'S FUCKING FUNNY! Still, if you insist that you too can make excellent virtual snowmen, then head on over to Snowfun, peruse the gallery and then put your gloves on and get building!

Feel free to share any of your doubtless hideous creations with us here, or by e-mailing us at andy fanton at google mail dot com

Have fun, you crazy kids. And wrap up warm.

- Mr. Andy Fanton.

The Best is Back!

Hello, and welcome back to The Best Bit of the Internet!

Yes, like a sexy phoenix from the flames, The Best Bit of the Internet has risen once more, nearly two months after being shot dead by trained assassins.

With so many (fucking BRILLIANT) ideas bubbling away in our collective heads, we here at Crazy Kids Productions (that's us) decided that rather than constantly making new blogs and sites for everything (only for them to then go unattended for months when we get bored of the idea), we'd much rather just reinstate The Best Bit of the Internet to house them all again, under one roof. ONE REALLY EXCELLENT ROOF!

Just below this post (probably one of the BEST posts you've ever read, right?) you'll find new Anthology of Awful, Take Life From Behind, and Carrotty Kid; as well as all-new additions to the Best Bit roster, like Stink Crescent Meadows, Suck My Hollywood and The Shits O'Clock News.

Bloody hell, there's some good stuff right there.

So: we're back. Keep watching this very space for more best bits - and tell your friends that The Best Bit of the Internet is back, back, BACK!

HOORAY!

- Fanton.